From Impossible-Ever-Now to Happily-Ever-After
by Terez Hartmann
Once upon a time in the fairy tale kingdom of Brooklyn, New York, there lived a little girl who believed in “happily ever after.” She had read countless stories, seen a gazillion movies, made annual trips to the dreams-come-true-mothership Walt Disney World in Orlando and knew that her vision of being in an extraordinary, wondrous love relationship was so utterly real, true, and sure for her that no one could tell her differently.
As the little girl grew and her attention moved from focusing inwardly to observing the outer world, she started to notice that virtually no 3-D humans were living happily ever after with each other, and soon her own experiences began to match what she was observing.
With this, doubt became far more prevalent than knowing, and her dream began to wane. After all, if almost everyone she knew had difficult or less-than-stellar relationships—including everyone in her immediate and extended family—and her own personal experience was showing her that relationships were always lacking.
How could she possibly believe otherwise?
After taking a break from many years of relationship ups and downs, the girl decided that she would once again allow herself to dream, envision, and consider what could be. She made lists of what she wanted, cut out words and images to place in books and on vision boards, and spent whatever idle time she had thinking about the possibility of what could be. She was determined and willing to do whatever it would take to realize her dream and was working very diligently at the process—for the world most certainly taught her that any worthwhile dream could come true if she was willing to put in the time and work hard. But, oddly enough, the more “required” action she invested, the less effective her results turned out to be. With this, she decided that instead of waiting for Mr. Right to whisk her away on adventures, she could give these as gifts to herself. She stopped waiting, really started living and had some of the greatest adventures of her life; and lo and behold, she discovered that for first time in her adult life, she truly enjoyed the pleasure of her OWN company.
As she gradually entered the dating world again, she found more and more awesome traits and experiences with her lovers. Though none of them turned out to be “the one,” she came away from each of these relationships with greater insights about what she really desired and, most importantly, went beyond the work of making lists or adding to vision boards to finally reach the heart of how she wanted her relationship to FEEL.
Throughout this time of exploration, she shared many conversations with her best friend, a fellow musician and deeply intelligent and spiritually open-minded man. To help each other along their respective journeys, they exchanged music, books, audio recordings, and movies that moved each of them.
The most amazing thing occurred when the girl heard her heterosexual male friend speak the words her heart had once shouted as a child, “I want the fairy tale. I want happily ever after.”
Perhaps her dream was not as crazy or impossible as she had made it out to be? Perhaps she was not the only one who wanted this?
Once again, she went forth to sample the buffet of relationships and unfortunately managed to sink her teeth into a particularly bitter dish, which got her attention in a strong enough way to inspire her to make a very powerful decision: She decided she was done searching, would never again settle for less than the whole badda-bing of what she truly wanted, and that if she was not able to experience this in her lifetime for whatever reason, she really could be okay and live a happy, full life as a single woman. She then got off the subject of love and relationships altogether and resolved to do her best to get back to living her own version of happily-ever-now.
A month or so later when her heart became lighter, she accepted an invitation to meet her best friend to check out an up-and-coming blues band. On her way, she was inspired to stop at a book store for no good reason, where she struck up a conversation with a lovely woman. After feeling compelled to share her relationship stories with the stranger, the woman gave her a very helpful piece of advice and planted a seed of hope by saying,
“Whatever you do, do not close your heart, for the one you’ve been waiting for may be just around the corner.”
Upon hearing this, she realized that there was still something inside of her that knew that what she wanted could be possible, some way, somehow, someday; but this time, she had no stake in it. There was no urgency, no must-have, and no desire to chase, try, search, or pursue. She thanked the lady and took these sweet words with a grain of salt.
When she met her friend that evening, there was a whole new sense of electricity in the air. Though she had felt this when she first met him two years prior, the timing and circumstances were not conducive to anything more than friendship at that time (since she had just ended one relationship and started a new one). Those feelings had long been swept under the rug and tucked away, but today the rug had been lifted, and boy, the sparks were flying! By the end of the night, she and her best friend, John, shared a truly magical first kiss that was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. It felt like all time had stopped, like the entire Universe had converged upon this moment, yet at the same time, it was the most natural, easy, beautiful thing in the world. In less than 24 hours, this already wonderful friendship had evolved into something deeper and more and, with this recognition, the words she had heard from the kind stranger only hours before rang truer than she ever could have imagined!
Approximately 30 days after giving up the search and a month and a half after kissing her best friend, the girl—AKA yours truly—said “Absolutely!” to his question of “Will you marry me?”
We have since shared over 17 years of friendship, 13 years of marriage, and an ever-expanding, amazing, fun, natural, passionate, joy-filled, awesome adventure beyond anything I once thought possible. And when I recall the words he spoke to me all those years ago, “I want the fairy tale. I want happily ever after,” I am again reminded that the Universe has the power and resources to deliver even our deepest, truest, hearts’ desires—even down to the most exact, specific detail!*!
The Bottom Line: From Impossible-Ever-Now to Happily Ever After!
When I began my journey of allowing true love, there really was a time where it felt utterly, completely ridiculous and impossible. Like most of you, I was taught to be realistic and do my homework by researching and observing the world around me, yet the more I did this, the further this took me away from realizing my dreams. I also discovered that trying too hard to “make it happen” was not the answer because the more I searched for what I did not have, the more life (via Law of Attraction) brought me more of the same via more searching and more not having. Yet, with a willingness to let go, along with being open to allowing a little seed of hope and possibility to germinate, it was astonishing how quickly everything fell into place:
In less than 24 hours I had moved from impossible-ever-now to starting the journey of happily-ever-now AND after!
If I could find that wonderful woman who gave me those words of hope at the perfect time, I would give her the most epic hug imaginable! So just as she said to me all those years ago, it is MY hope that you take this story and these words to heart:
“Whatever you do, do not close your heart, for the one you have been waiting for may be just around the corner!”
Here’s to open hearts, happily-ever-nows (and afters!), and to remembering that dreams really can also come true for beautiful, fabulous YOU!
“We are free to be everything and all that we are
Always free to follow our own guiding star
Both individuals, yet move together as one
Feeling every day our adventure has only begun…”
–From “My Holiday” ©TTRH 2011-2016
*To hear more about our true love story or gain insights and ideas for letting love happen, visit www.AllowingTrueLove.com or play the videos on our “About Us” by visiting this link: http://allowingyoursucces.wix.com/allowingtruelove#!about-us/c1itd
Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOU-lous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their Safety Harbor-based studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: www.TerezFirewoman.com